The last few years of my life God has been continuously asking this question:
Do you trust me?
Of course my first impulse is to say, “Yes, of course! Why would you even need to ask?”
But do I really?
Do I trust Him enough to give Him everything? Or just some things? Do I put boundaries, roadblocks, and limits up when it comes to trusting Him? Like I tend to do with people?
I’ve trusted enough to give up some stuff. My job. My car. Seeing my family and friends. My home. These days pretty much all sense of stability in my life.
But have I given Him what really matters?
Have I given Him my heart, my mind, and my will? What about my fears? Or the desires of my heart? My worries? My finances? My health? Do I trust what He says about my identity? Do I let that fully affect my decisions, actions and character?
What about trusting God with the things going on around me that I have little to no control over?
Right now I’m learning to have to trust God with my heart every day when it breaks for the children here. Every time I hear one of their stories of abuse and tragedy, or learn about the psychological and physical effects and symptoms of extreme neglect in infants and children – my heart snaps in two. Learning and discovering these things can be like having a filter taken off of your mind. You see behaviors in a completely new light and the unpleasant understanding and reality hits you hard, right in the chest. Its been really difficult to process. In these moments it’s easy to become overwhelmed and start to feel powerless to do anything to help them. I am just one person after all.
However, I believe that God is able to do so much more than I could ever fathom and is able and willing to heal the hearts of those who so desperately need it. He is the only one that can fully restore the hearts and minds of these kids. To heal the wounds that go so much deeper than the skin. My job is to love them, pray for them, and speak truth over them. Trust in His promises and hope are essential. Please join me in praying for them.
Even though walking into the unknown can be scary, I choose to trust Him. It’s a decision that has to be made every day – sometimes several times a day – but it’s worth it.
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