Ever since I arrived in Guatemala I have been challenged by this line:
It is well with my soul.
The original song speaks to the authors reaction in the face of incredible and terrible tragedy. Of finding the faith and strength to persevere in light of that tragedy, and placing his trust and assurance on what Christ did on the cross.
The version by Bethel is similar in the concept of despite overwhelming obstacles, trusting in the unseen and in the nature of who He is.
“It is well with my soul” is a beautiful summary of faith and trust.
But what if it isn’t?
What if it is not yet well with my soul? What do you do then?
Some days here are hard. The emotional weight of what I am personally growing in and realizing, combined with everything I am learning about and from the kids at the orphanage can be heavy. Like two currents colliding at sea. You can’t always see the effects of it on the surface, but if you could see the swirling and merging currents of water below…it would paint a different picture.
I’ve met mothers who are thirteen and fourteen-years-old. Held children in their first hours after being removed from their home and brought to an orphanage. Even though they have been brought to a safe and loving place, the tears and confusion don’t stop for a while. I am honored to help with the new four-day-old baby, but the heartache that goes with knowing that the child needed to be brought here in the first place is like a firm pressure on my chest.
But Jesus says:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30
Those are pretty amazing promises. Not just rest, but rest for my soul.
There is a song that I have been listening to over and over again this week. Some of the words seemed to echo just where my heart was struggling.
Amen By I Am They
I have no words to say
Don’t know what I should pray
God I need you
God I need you
Oh Lord, my faith is tired
And tears fill up my eyes
But I will trust You, I will trust you
Whatever comes my way
You have taught me to say
Amen, let Your kingdom come
Amen, let Your will be done
And through the rise and fall
You’re God above it all
Amen, we’re singing Amen
When I can barely stand
You strengthen me again
I will seek You, I will seek You
Though troubles may arise
My hands reach to the skies
I will praise You, I will praise You
Amen, let Your kingdom come
Amen, let Your will be done
And through the rise and fall
You’re God above it all
Amen, we’re singing amen
I am still learning what it is to be at the place of complete peace with God to be able to say it truly is well with my soul at all times. Until then, I can say amen. I will trust you. Through the rise and fall. Of my heart and turbulent emotions. You are God above it all. Above every precious ones situation and future. I will rest in You.
Amen.
